Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Warning: If you are not sure you want to read it or not do not click Read More.
and sorry for so many painful typos. I had a terrible headache last night. Fixed.
Today I finally got a reply from someone I have been wanting for so long, and it made me speechless, then burst out of laughing from either anger or pity which I cannot tell anymore.

The worst part of it is that it involves a w-inds. fan. My fandom is small and I love it for being nice, peaceful and well-behaved, at least within the small circle or fan fellows that I have. Even if we barely talk to each other, I only let certain people into that circle, which is also a sign that I trust them.

Today, I felt like I was betrayed. No, not exactly today but it was a while ago, however I believed that human could change. I forgot that they can change to be either better or worse.

Let make it short. So it started about 5 months ago. There was this girl (just call her S) who started uploading full w-inds. live tours to YouTube, and it bugged me. Lemme explain it, I'm okay with people uploading invidual performances, however the WHOLE live is another problem. That way ppl don't need to buy the DVD anymore (they aren't even required to do some simple downloading steps to get 10 or 20 parts, plus typing in password for each download of course, then merging them to watch like how I did to my shared files. So yes don't compare her to me) And it's not something a fan should do for w-inds.

But I believed she did that with a pure harmless intention. With that thought in mind, I wrote S a long and understanding message on Facebook (we were Facebook friends), asking her to remove them. S never replied me but shortly later, all the vids were removed from her channel. I then found out that she blocked my facebook; it made me sad thinking she might hate me and I lost a fan fellow, but I didn't regret what I'd done.

And it was supposed to end there (at least I thought so) until I happened to go past some of her new vids on YouTube and... not being very pleasant. S mainly uploaded cuts from others' vids about w-inds.' appearances on TV show or their DVDs without credit, entitled them very generally like "Ryohei So Cute Keita So Sexy" etc. Soon later, she started using my own vids as "material". I'm completely unpleased about it but also fully understand that once I upload the shows to YouTube I give others chances to download and do whatever they want with them, and the fact that not many people are concerned of the credit problem as me. I tried to ignore it.

If only it stopped there.... until S used my unlisted vids. DAMN IT. I made the "You & I" c/w songs unlisted for a reason. I spent times making them, not just uploading them like usual. The songs are definitely w-inds.' work, but the vids ARE MINE. I commented... and she blocked my account totally. I believe S knew it was me, so.... maybe this is her revenge? I didn't know, but once again, I chose to neglect it.

And you guess it, ha. S touched the c/w songs of FLY HIGH as well, made them hers; I just laughed and told myself she was not good in English and maybe didn't understand the uploading etiquette either. "Poor girl. She didn't do it on purpose..."

Now I wish I had done something sooner.

A short while after MOVE LIKE THIS was out, a fan posted her promo vid for the album (somewhat similar to what I did here). Imagine it, S COPIED THE WHOLE VID TO HER CHANNEL. Without permission. I don't understand why she did so, what is the point??? Of course there's no way she could let my vid pass, haha. S reproduced my promo vid to something called "Best Song Selection". LOL. Good job girl.

It was then that I decided I should try talking to her again... I used the alternative account (which I uploaded the promo to) and sent S a short message (damn I thought her English was not good, remember?) clearly stated that I want her to stop reproduction. Politely. Before I could take time and check it again, two of her videos (including that "Best Selection") were taken down by Pony Canyon (and gave me a heart attack too. I don't understand why PC didn't take my vid down either.. lawl). Perhaps scared of her account being terminated, she removed everything. EVERYTHING.

And this time I thought it was really the end (sorry my story is long). If only I didn't signed in the alternative account... and saw a PM. S has never replied to any of my messages before, and I really thought she would never do. Can you guess what's in?

"u witch and bitch." (my YouTube ID is witchxUsagi)

I was shocked.

It was the first time in my life... being called a bitch.

Did I do anything wrong? No.

Then I was angry.



And now I feel all empty. Too naive, am I?

I wish I were strong enough not to be hurted because of such things, and I'm sure I will.

So gimme time, self.

Sorry if I made anyone read this horrible story. My apology, and good night.

Damn my head hurts.


12laus said...

feel bad for you, but on the internet, there will be people like this and the best thing to do is to ignore them and don't get hurt by what they say.

Usagi Tsukino said...

@12laus that's true. I was just naive enough to believe that my small and lovely fandom included of all angelic people, haha XD

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